Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Powerless


I’ve been a bad, bad girl. I haven’t weighed myself in weeks. When I started this health journey in January, I promised to weigh myself weekly on Sundays. I was faithful for awhile but lately I’ve been avoiding the scale. Why? Because I suck!! I have ZERO willpower when it comes to cakes, cookies, pies, and cobblers. Basically, anything with sugar I want to eat it and I want to eat a lot of it.

I decided to weigh myself tonight. I can honestly say I wasn’t surprised that I’m almost back to my starting weight. I’m not stupid. I know if I eat crap, I will not lose weight. I know if I don’t work out, I won’t lose the weight. So, the big question is why do I do it? Why can’t I stay away from the sugar?? I want to be healthy and I need to lose 50 pounds (per my doctor), but I can’t resist the sugar.

I’m really disappointed in myself. I feel like I’m letting myself down once again. I feel like I have no control over my cravings and I don’t like feeling this way. It makes me question my abilities, my self-esteem and self-worth. I feel completely powerless.

Powerless – lacking the ability or capacity to act. Ok, I’m lacking the ability to resist temptations of sugary foods. When I read it out loud, it sounds simple, almost elementary. In fact, I just said; “You can do this, Charissa.” But can I really? I’ve tried so many times before and I’ve always failed. I’m tired of failing, tired of feeling powerless and tired of trying...


3 comments:

  1. Do not give up! Do Not give up! Do not give up! I hear you on eating all the wrong foods, I truely honestly do. My culprut is Soda! YIKES! I heard that if you can go one month straight with out having the bad quilt item that is curupting you than you have the will power to train yourself to live better and to be with out those things. I know I can give up soda, its now a matter of choice! I have two bottles 16oz in frig they will be gone tomorrow and thats is it.

    What have you done so far to improve or change in your journey, what have you done for working out? what do you like and what do you dislike when it comes to working out and eating healthy. I am not an expurt but than again who is unless you are a DR, or went to school for fitness and health/food related things. I can offer my advice, tips, and relate to you.

    I personally like how you refer to your self as granny and wear the bonnett so cute! You are beautiful, you are strong, you do have what it takes, smash that horriable little voice inside your head and tell it to move aside the strong will person is coming out!

    Time to be strong!

    There are a few ways you can eat and work out in a not so high cost. You do not have to be a health nut crazy person to eat healhier. we all are differant, but that doesnt mean we have the right to act stupid with it.

    I suggest that you get your favorite kind of chocolate or candy in the fun size bags, and I keep mine "Milk Chocolate Dove squares" in frig. and Only eat one or two a day! ONLY you get that small sweet craving out of the way, and you have a MUCH SMALLER control size and you still feel and know you are not cheating yourself.

    Kiersten.

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    Replies
    1. I woke up this morning and read your comment. Thank you so much for your support and suggestions. It is very encouraging knowing someone understands my struggles.

      I was swimming about 4 nights a week due to plantar fasciitis in my feet. I finally got the ok from my doctor and physical therapist to SLOWLY start working out more, like walking. I can only walk 15 minutes at a time, but the weather has been so nasty that I can't get outside and walk. My goal is to start walking minutes 15 minutes 3 days a week combined with my swimming. I hope to walk an hour, start Zumba again and swim.

      In regards to my eating, I think I need to refocus. I've been soda free for 8 weeks so I do have the willpower and that was very hard for me to give up. By the way, you CAN give up soda!!! Be prepared for headaches for the first week or so, but after that you'll be fine.

      Yes! It is time for me to be strong!! Thanks again for your support and encouragement! I already feel stronger!

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  2. Happy to help a fellow struggler like myself. :) I only know what plantar foot is due to my recent CNA class, glad to hear you have the ok now to slowly workout again. Do you have stairs in your home? I use to walk up and down mine for a very long while. haha! but its a better start when the weather is icky out.

    I drank my last DR.pepper today!!!!!!!!!! so my goal is to not drink it anymore. well I will tomorrow due to I am going out to dinner with husband. Its for my celebration dinner for completing school! So one more, who knows maybe I might just be a good girl and not get one! But seriously I am kicking it, It wont be to hard since I have done it before but Will crave it no doubt. I was craving fast food today but didn't do it!

    I bought all protien and fruits/veggies today! trying to eat healier too. have veggies and fruit with very little grain/carb with dinners for sides.

    Thats cool you can do Zumba my corrdination totally SUCKS! that is going to be my 1st thing I need to learn while working out.

    Yesterday I joined Jillian Micheals website plan right now its a 7 day free trail. so far I am impressed with it, the app for you phone is outstanding so far! FREE TO! from itunes. It has work outs on it with video samples of how to do the move, and so much more. Right now I am saying I recommend it.

    Today I picked up her program that she has adverties on tv? you seen it? Target carries it so I picked it up today! I am going to do her program and than when I master that I will get into my beachbody programs of turbo fire! Right now my cordnation totally blows that I cant do the work outs on that program, i freeze up! I need to build condfidence in self to get my feet to lift off the ground so I can move freely with my body. Challenge yes indeed!

    I need to walk my dog too!

    Great job on no soda keep it up!

    I know what to do for working out, I need to get a grip on the eating.

    I have been thinking of making a like page on FB just as a personal blog type thing. what do you think should I go for it? I am a bit nervous too.

    I look forward to keeping up with you and your fb/blog page.

    Stay strong No More Granny Panties.

    I need to ditch mine too!

    Keep it real.

    Kiersten

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