Sunday, July 7, 2013

Those Damn Mirrors

It's been awhile since my last post. I've been very busy and time seems to get away from me. Although, I haven't blogged in a few weeks, I'm still on this journey. Still moving forward, still making mistakes and still trying again...and again...and again. I've learned a lot and I realize that I will continue making mistakes. It's the trying again part that matters most, right?

The most important thing I've learned about myself from this journey is I get bored very quickly with exercises. I need a variety of exercise classes and routines to keep my interest. Since last year the only cardio exercise I've been doing is swimming because of my plantar fasciitis in both feet, but I've been wanting to do more cardio. I slowly started walking/jogging intervals as a way to "test" my feet, and so far, so good! Since my feet we're doing great, I felt the time was right to return to Zumba.

I have a membership at my local YMCA and they offer Zumba classes. I've taken Zumba before but only one time at the Y, over a year ago. I usually go to a church near my house but the classes at the Y are included in my membership. Why pay double for a Zumba class?!

The class was Wednesday evening at 5:30. I arrived early and sat on the bench right outside of the room. I was very excited to be there! I loved doing Zumba before and I was ready to do it again. I had my water bottle and my coin skirt. I couldn't wait to shake it and get down!! I saw the Zumba instructor walking down the hallway. She was wearing her Zumba pants and a Zumba tank top. She was pulling a suitcase behind her filled with Zumba goodies. My heart skipped a beat and my mind went into overdrive. "We could be the best of friends! We could tag team a class! Two instructors in one class! This could be awesome! I could change my Facebook name to Zumba Granny! The possibilities are endless."

She unlocked the classroom door and all the waiting students filled the room, people laughing and talking. I followed everyone and stopped in my tracks. I could not believe what I was seeing. Mirrors. TONS OF THEM. The classroom had mirror walls. I immediately said; "These damn mirrors." I was turning to leave the room when I heard a voice say; "I know. I hate them too." I spun around and saw a young woman, about my age. She smiled and sat her water down on the table. I stood there, shocked that someone felt the same way I did about the mirrors. Then I realized she wasn't leaving the class. She hates the mirrors too and she's still doing the class. I decided to do the same thing. I sat my water next to hers and I smiled back at her. Even though we didn't speak again, I felt a kindred spirit with her. Perhaps, her struggles are the same as mine. Perhaps, she tries over and over again with her weight loss journey. Perhaps, one day we will be best friends and we can take down the mirrors together! Once again, the possibilities are endless!

The class was amazing and I think I sweated a gallon of water. My hair was soaked and my face was candy apple red - a true sign that I worked my ass off. During the class, I was well aware of the mirrors but I remained focused on the instructor. There was no time to look at myself when I didn't know the dance moves. I had to focus on her! As I left the room, I quickly glanced in the mirrors and said; "You damn mirrors."

As I left the YMCA, I skipped to my car with an idiot grin on my face. I was so happy that I faced a fear, that I didn't run and hide because I was afraid of the freaking mirrors. I also realized that I need to say focused on my journey. I tend to get discouraged when I see other's losing weight and I'm still trying and trying and trying.

I'm not sure if I'll ever be 100% comfortable doing Zumba with mirrors but I know one thing for sure, I'm not giving up. I will stay focused and see this journey to the end with or without those damn mirrors.

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